Tuesday, August 24, 2010

How Skinny is Too Skinny?

I've always said I can't date a guy who wears smaller jeans than me. Sorry, my fragile body image can't handle being the larger one in the relationship - I need to feel feminine and attractive, so smaller - right? Not that I would ever judge people by appearances (ha!). And not that I would be at all horrified if a guy judged me by those kinds of superficial standards.

So by any chance am I finally mature enough to put happiness over body issues? 'Cause his jeans are definitely smaller.

A friend said something to me a while ago that I have been mulling over. She said she likes me at my current weight better than when I'm thinner - this weight "suits me better". Huh.

More surprising to me than the comment itself was my reaction to it. First, I let myself consider what it might be like to believe her for a moment. Then, I became confused about why I'd never even considered that possibility for myself before.

Um, duh? At some point didn't we decide something about thinness and an unhealthy illusion concocted and perpetuated by inauthentic popular culture? And about the endless pursuit to be thinner actually being a misplaced attempt to cover up deeper emotional needs? I actually do prefer women's bodies that have some softness and curve. And I would whole-heartedly argue that a healthy well-balanced internal and external life leads to a healthy well-balanced body - and that weight, whatever it is, is when someone is most attractive.

But somehow I'm still sure I'd be happier if I were just one size smaller and if everyone stayed on their side of stereotypical gender body norms. Nice.

Luckily for now, he has found ways to express his appreciation for the curves...

Thursday, August 19, 2010

What kind of guitar do you have?

So I had an introduction. I walked into a party and my friend got excited and started saying, "Where's Mike? Where's Mike?" I responded, "Uh, who's Mike?" Apparently, Mike is her coworker who she thinks I should date, and her not-so-subtle way to communicate this is to talk to me about it loudly while pointing directly at him. Then, she goes across the room to him, talks excitedly in his ear, and gestures directly at me. Totally not obvious at all. No pressure.

Other folks at the party get in on scheming about how to make this happen. Finally, my friend's husband suddenly yells over to him, "Mike, what kind of guitar do you have?"

Nice. Awkward "guitar" conversation ensues while we all pretend to take this pretense seriously.

But then we relax, the others slip away, and real conversation begins...