Gun Shy

I saw this pendant on etsy recently and was a little worried by how much I loved it...












This winter, one of my fabulous single friends (one of the two, that is...) hatched a plan for us to follow directions from the book "Love in 90 Days" to get back up on the horse. It sounded like something that I would usually be up for (embracing how silly it might be). Yet for some reason I couldn't get myself to even crack the book when it came from the library. (She had told me that the author made you start by saying "hello" to 5 guys, and that was too much for me.)

I've spent the nine months since the end of my last romantic entanglement feeling like dating was the last thing I wanted to do, even though I wanted to want to - feeling like the last outsider at baby shower after baby shower, but powerless to even take a first step anywhere near that road. The only flutters I've even felt have been in completely unlikely or unwise circumstances. I may be guarding my heart from anything that could be real, i.e. anything that could actually hurt. Again.

And I seem to have even gained some weight back to make sure to keep them away.

But the good news is actually that I'm feeling like I might be able to stand to consider trying it again - if and when an opportunity arises. Maybe.

The Trouble With Trouble

You should be very proud of me. My librarian friend's nephew was laying it on thick at her birthday party (i.e. When was I going to let him take me out to dinner? Wasn't I going to stick around for the rest of the evening?). He was plenty cute, ridiculously funny, and the chemistry was definitely ON. But I happen to have enough insider information from hours on the ski lift with his aunt to know that he's definitely not what I'm looking for. At least not right now, if ever. Yet I felt this irrational pull to abandon principle and responsibility by staying and indulging.

Somehow I managed to drag myself away, though a lot more reluctantly than I'd like to admit. Luckily, I had help from a friend who saw exactly what was going on and reminded me to "aim higher".

A little electricity and I'm ready to dive head-first straight into bad decisions? I've been down that very road more than a few times now, and there's no way I don't get caught up and/or end up with an awkward related-to-a-beloved-coworker hangover.  But bad decisions can sometimes be so cleverly disguised... as our Middle School director reminds us, "The trouble with trouble is it starts out as fun."

But the Nephew knows where to find me if he really wants to. C'mon, there are certainly worse ways to pass the time... right?! I still remember fondly the fabulous bad decision who I called "Capital T." to his face (you know, the "T that rhymes with P that stands for pool.") And that turned out fine. After I recovered from the day I couldn't stop crying...

Things that make me happy...

Of all the many open parking spots in the lot, the other Ruby Sue owner chose to park right next to me! (Something I would totally do.)















I didn't have time to stick around and see who the other owner was, but their car was a little messy inside, so I'm kind of hoping it was just a kindred spirit and not actually supposed to be my soul mate - I have enough trouble keeping my own Ruby Sue clean.

Not the Flirt I May Appear to Be

I happened upon a women's "Couch to 5K" running class out of a running store by Greenlake one Thursday night recently, I decided it was serendipitous, and I joined in right there. I figured I've laid some solid ground work on the "couch" part and could use a little push to get going. I don't make that many spontaneous decisions, but the instructor is wonderful, and the group of women is a great mix of ages and athletic ability. It seemed like just what I needed.

I was walking in the door for the second week of class when I heard a voice say my name. Low and behold, it's an old friend from college (who I very briefly dated and) who I haven't seen for at least ten years. So I stayed outside to catch up with him (has a girlfriend, btw). Little did I know that inside the store they were voraciously teasing me for ditching class to flirt with a boy. When I finally got inside, I realized what was going on, turned an appropriate shade of red, and tried to justify my actions to the crowd. I hadn't seen him in years! I didn't know he even lived here! When the subject came up again later on Facebook, I tried to explain that while I am not above ditching class to flirt with a cute boy, that wasn't what was happening!

I made sure to get there on time the next week to avoid any further abuse. And all was going well until our half-way break, when who walks up but the Banker and his dog?! So of course I had to say hello to them! It seemed like an appropriate time since we were stopped and waiting for others to catch up. But apparently I was so wrapped up in my conversation with him I didn't realize the instructor was trying to get us going again...

I was just being friendly, I swear. But I think this is how you get a reputation.