Inked

You may not believe it if you know me very well, but I actually put my money where my mouth is and got that tattoo I've been dreaming of!

Over Christmas break, when I was down in the dumps as usual because of the dark time of year, the change in routine that vacation and the holidays bring, my familial legacy of unfortunate brain chemistry, etc... I yet again withdrew from the world (hence the Twilight).

One day on a walk, the fog lifted slightly and I had a moment of clarity (or insanity; still waiting to decide). I needed to carry a reminder that "life comes back" like I have written about. I needed that tattoo. I needed to throw out worrying about whether other people approve of me and allow myself to risk.

I knew what I wanted. I pinned down a design in the the delicate vine and scroll style I've been playing with - that to me symbolizes life and growth and goodness. The most shocking part of the decision was to put it on the inside of my left arm below the wrist, so it can catch my eye when I need it to.

As soon as I got it, I felt cooler. Kind of in awe. Who is this person who gets tattoos?! Now and then, I do experience some "what the hell have I done getting a tattoo - especially in a place where everyone can see" panic. Luckily, it usually passes as I remember that the whole point of this tattoo was to remind me to let go of exactly that kind of fear that can so easily keep me paralyzed and hidden from life.

My goal is to live long enough and happy enough for it to outlive it's usefulness and to joyfully regret it. But ask me in 30 years.